Intoxicated
by KairiMcEwin
Summary: He couldn't hear my heart breaking. I refused to let him hear. Because I was intoxicated. Akuroku, angst, suicide attempt, a little fluff.


**Kairi: **Well, I'm still not updating those three fanfics. Hmm. I wonder why? Well, Master's pet chappy 2 is done, I just wanna edit it a bit more. And I'M STILL WAITING FOR FIVE REVIEWS ON Of Cats And Dragons! I only have one! Look, I said five for each chappy. Of Cats And Dragons is all finished, just not uploaded. And Devil's deal has writer's block. gah. Well, with that outta the way, here is a little story to entertain you until I post more. Without further ado, here is ANGSTY ROXAS!

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><p>I watched him as he kisses her.<p>

He couldn't hear my heart breaking.

I refused to let him hear.

Because I was intoxicated.

After I got home, I locked the door.

I didn't answer my phone.

I wouldn't open the door for anyone.

I stayed inside for two weeks, not speaking to anyone, barely eating.

I knew he was trying to call, but I ignored him.

What did he care?

All he wants is her.

Never would he want me.

I was a boy.

A boy can't love a boy... right?

I heard him yelling at my door.

I wished he would just shut up and go back to her.

Finally, I opened the door.

"Will you just shut the hell up and leave me the fuck alone?"

I slammed the door hard, tears running down my face.

He probably hated me now.

No, he was knocking again.

I wiped away my tears and opened the door again.

"What the hell do you want, Axel?"

"Why won't you answer your phone? Are you mad at me or something?"

I looked away.

"Just leave me alone, Axel. I really, really, really hate you!"

I locked the door, sobbing.

I stayed inside for another week.

I sliced my wrists dozens of times.

I didn't eat at all.

At the end of that week, he was back.

I opened the door.

"Just tell me what you want and leave."

He looked upset.

"Why do you hate me? Did I do something?"

I couldn't look at his emerald eyes.

"Just go, Axel."

"Roxas-"

"I SAID GO!"

I screamed the words at him and slammed the door.

He kept knocking.

I ran into the kitchen and grabbed a knife.

But I couldn't do it.

I was a coward.

He still was knocking and yelling.

I ran at the door.

"GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE! I FUCKING HATE YOU! I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN, DON'T YOU GET IT? GO BACK TO YOUR FUCKING GIRLFRIEND, YOU ASS!"

I slammed the door as hard as I could, sobbing.

He didn't knock anymore.

I cried and screamed for days, barely eating.

I hated myself.

I wasn't good enough for anyone.

I was so stupid and ugly.

I cut myself so many times.

I wanted to die.

After a month, he was back.

I opened the door.

"What do you want?"

"Look, I don't know why you hate me, but I'm sorry for whatever I did. I need to tell-"

I glared at him.

"Why do I hate you? I hate you because you're so fucking stupid! You don't know anything! I fucking hate you because of what you do to me!"

I showed him my arm.

"THIS is what you do to me! This is why I hate you! You're so blind! Before this all happened, I loved you! As in LOVE! But you never saw that, did you? No, you went out with HER! Well, congratulations! You don't have a faggot of a best friend crushing on you like a fucking schoolgirl anymore! Thanks for ruining my life! Thanks for breaking me without a fucking care in the world! Now go back to your wonderful girlfriend! Or have you proposed yet? Have a nice life, you ass!"

I slammed the door again, crying.

I couldn't take it anymore.

I grabbed the knife from the kitchen and began cutting into my arm.

I felt the blood leave my body.

It felt so good.

It felt nice, to be dying.

I heard him yelling at the door.

I hoped he found my body.

As darkness took me over, I called,

"It's open."

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><p>Beeping.<p>

How annoying.

I opened my eyes to a blinding white.

A machine was next to me, and a blood bag.

Shit.

I was in the hospital.

"Morning."

I looked over at him.

"Why are you here? I'm sure your girlfriend is waiting."

He frowned.

"I'm here because you're my friend."

I glared at him.

"Some friend, huh?"

"Rox, look, I'm sor-"

"Maybe you should have said that earlier! Why did you help me, anyways? Did you pity me? Did you-"

He pressed his lips to mine, cutting off my next words.

It was amazing.

I felt on top of the world.

I felt like nothing was ever going to break me again.

I was in heaven.

I felt whole.

When he pulled away, I wanted more.

"Roxas, I realized I made a mistake. I really am sorry. You wanna know something funny?"

He smiled sadly, kissing my forehead.

"I loved you too. I still do. But I always thought you were straight. I figured you'd never want a boy. So I went out with that bitch."

He sighed, holding my hand.

"A few days before I came back to see you, I found her cheating on me. I broke up with her. When I came to your house, I was planning to tell you that I loved you. I... I'm so stupid."

He buried his face in his hands, and I placed a hand on his head.

He looked up and smiled.

God, that smile was so beautiful...

We kissed again, and it was amazing.

I felt like my world was finally at peace.

I felt... Intoxicated.

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><p><strong>Kairi: <strong>The original title was Hate, but I changed it. Man, kinda a bit too angsty. I dunno. Well, until next time!


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